What's the worst that can happen??

The BAD has reared its ugly head once again. I feel like it never really went away. The topic of "hitting rock bottom" was brought up and the conclusion was made that there is no such thing as "rock bottom" because something else can always push the bottom another 6 feet.
The Aura in the atmosphere is reminding me of my shitty 2008. Its like Deja Vu. SERIOUSLY??? Why is it that cloud 9 is the highest of high but "rock bottom" can go into the negatives. Im totally annoyed and stressed right now. I cant remember the last time I was really happy. That is sad. There is always something weighing on my brain. I just wish I could be free. When will I be free?? Maybe my worries and stresses of life will never end, until it really does end...
This is my plead that everyone realize who you are and who are the people you associate yourselves with. I hope that everyone realizes that you are only guaranteed that your life is destined to end. Life is precious...so very precious. I only hope that ppl. begin to spend their lives in such a manner. Sometimes living for today is the only thing you got. But also making sure that if you are lucky enough to live tomorrow that you are OK with the decisions you made today.

Color Mood

Red: .Target .the place of my employment. Sigh...that place annoys the hell out of me. Maybe not...maybe its just my co-workers. These grown ass men and women who've been doing the same job, Im doing now, for 10+ years but cant move up any higher in the position ladder, they all carry this chip on their shoulder thinking they own the place or something. It drives me bananas. But I cant complain too much, Ive been working here for 2 years now and I get paid fairly well...THANK GOD school is starting.
SCHOOL= BREAK FROM THE RED AND KHAKI uniform


Blue and Gold: North Carolina Agriculture and Technical State University. I am more than ready for school to start.
Aug. 6----R.A. (Resident Assistant) training begins!
Target and Bed Bath and Beyond has a lot of stuff that I am interested in grabbing before school starts. Only thing is, unlike last year, I dont have piles of graduation cards coming in the mail that included MONEY for these items. hmmp.

o00oOOO00 So BOOKS...College textbooks are the worse investment in the world!! You buy them new and within the time of one semester then they become invaluable. So this year NCAT bookstore is not getting my $. I searched for all of the books I needed at ABEBOOKS and I found all of my books for a total of $200 , verses the $600 I would of paid at the bookstore!! Check it out...its a "life"saver

Green: My grandma's favorite color. Carrie Ann Austin....its really been 5 months today....on Valentines Day 2008. I still dont believe she's gone. I found myself wanting to pick up the phone to call her and get all the scoop on everybody in the family. But I cant.
Cancer....cancer did it...Diabetes...diabetes did it...the Doctors...YES, they too did it...their carelessness to diagnose her early, esp. after her complaining of pains numerous times. I am so bitter, mad, irate, pissed...sad ( and any other word you want to add) I dont think Ill ever cope with it and get that "closure" that everybody keeps telling me I need to find... :( But I do have this to look to once in a while....whenever I feel blue.

What Cancer Can't Do
Caner is so LIMITED
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit
-unknown
This is the poem that was printed in Her eulogy